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Carving out a corner of the web where the metal is pure and true. The Metal Shrine brings to you News, Reviews, Videos and assorted metal related tidings. Strap on your diamond crusted codpiece and join us in battle!

Milking the Goatmachine

I legitimately spent the better part of the morning searching through hoards of fresh and stale music videos. Attempting to find something worthwhile to post and write up since it’s been a while.  Instead of bringing a fine musical contribution to your hate filled Friday… I bring you complete and udder (hah!) insanity.
Milking the goat machine combine the aural assault of grindcore, crustpunk, death metal and goat masks. In a world full of self righteous stuck up tight assed corpse painted dickheads who think their band is actually unique while playing slayer covers. It’s great seeing bands like this take a piss on everything we hold sacred and dear.
From their Facebook page: “Hailing from the planet GoatEborg where all creatures happen to have a goatlike behaviour and/or appearance, MILKING THE GOATMACHINE were founded in 2008 by Goatfreed and Goatleeb Udder. They came to planet Earth to spread the word of Goatgrind. Together with NoiseArt Records the band is pursuing grinding world domination!”
If you’re in the mood for something silly and br00tals, give them a listen.

Like a Moth to a flame

Foot, i’d like you to meet mouth. Just last week I was prattling on about no good new music rabble rabble rabble.  Well earlier this week I stumbled upon an album from a relatively new band.

Do not be fooled, it’s no mere insect

I present: Moth – Endlessly in Motion. While i haven’t been able to scrounge up too much information about the band itself, the music really speaks for itself.  It’s heavy, not in a “this is brutal yo” way. I mean physically weighted heavy, when exposing your delicate ears to the first few tracks you feel overwhelmed by the sheer mass of the guitars, atmosphere and not-a-growl not-a-scream vocals. In fact listening to this album can be equated to the positive version of crawling through a quarter mile of crude oil laced with broken glass and human entrails.  After my first play through I felt like Tim Robbins at the end of Shawshank. Raised my arms in the rain and ripped off my shirt screaming, laughing and possibly wetting myself*.

*note I do not recommend trying this at home, as I did this in a crowded corporate office and let’s just say it did not end well. 

Despite this being the debut album of this band, between the musicianship, groove and overall production you would spear this was a 2nd or 3rd release.  Their mastery and overall performance is noteworthy.

Moth Metal

If I were to compare Moth to another band or be forced to throw them into a label (I know how you all love that!) I’d throw them somewhere between Meshuggah, Hacride and Gojira.  While maintaining a “technical progressive death metal” classification.

If Meshuggah’s last few albums left you as numb as they left me, I highly advise you give Endlessly in motion a go.  You sir, madame, klingon will not be disappointed.



A Metal Holiday

Is it just me or does it feel that there haven’t been any substantial metal releases in a few months? Did Krampus rape all our favorite artists into submission?  I’ve listened through a metric shit ton of amateur bands, flaccid EP’s and half assed come backs (Jason Newsted anyone?).

Honestly, i’m having difficulty remembering the last good full length album I picked up that made me froth at the loins.  Either i’m getting too old and cynical or the industry decided to take Halloween – New years day off.

I will end this shit sandwich with a few notable mentions:

MechinaMechina – Empyrean  (2013)
Old Fear Factory meets Mayan.   While production quality is not the best it could be in a 2013 release, musically this outfit reminds me of what would happen if you loaded a 1998 Fear Factory into a space shuttle and blasted it into the crab nebula loaded with the 2nd stringers of the New York Philharmonic and Mark Jansen at the helm.  Concept is great, execution could be better. Anyone into the industrial cybermetal genre and also into the chasms of space and space like ambiance… you know this is for you!

Angel Vivaldi - Universal LanguageAngel Vivaldi -Universal Language (EP) (2011)
I hate the term “djent” and all the negative connotations that come with it. However, this instrumental progressive metal EP is one of the best I’ve heard in a long time.  For fans of Scale the Summit, Animals as Leaders or Jeff Loomis I highly recommend it.  Granted it’s a little dated and he has had a few releases since then -it’s still worthy of a good listen. It will immediately make you throw out your guitar and take up binge drinking, and if you area already an alcoholic…. well then pick up an eight string guitar and kill yourself with it.

wintersun1Wintersun – Time I (2012)
6 effing years, they must thing they are George R.R. Martin. We waited and waited and what we got was half of the promised masterpiece.  Time I is a brilliantly over engineered Folk Metal saga that is full of epic choruses, addicting melodies and that Wintersun Finnish glory we all came to love and adore.  Part 2 is due out in 2013 and if the first part is any indication, we will be in for another auspicious aural treat.


True Heavy Metal

Throughout the day I come across a wide variety of viral videos. Most of them involve cats, dogs, homeless people or klingons. Who has the time and energy to repost and share every single one of them like some deep sea-faring male angler fish who embeds himself into the female angler fish then withers away leaving only a pair or shriveled gonads in the desperate hope of continuing his lineage?!?! Who does that?!

Today I am that shriveled gonad wearing angler fish.

You brought this upon yourselves people.

About the video:  Skynet has become alive, so what better way to celebrate sentience than with Motorhead… played by robots.  This wins the internet this week.


A grim awakening with Sig:Ar:Tyr

Happy frothing new year!  We awaken to see another glorious/horrendous/tingling day before us. Our taxes went up, tales of an apocalypse were greatly exaggerated and the left wing cry babies are trying to pry my precious assault rifles away with misdirected fear and confusion! Wait no! It’s the fault of video games!  If only more of them listened to tr00 black metal we could end this recession with increased corpse paint and stage blood sales. Then everybody wins!

Happy 2013 everybody!  — Now let us do our best to forget about the overflowing shit sink we live in and get into some delightful atmospheric pagan black metal to sooth the pain away.

Today I am sharing with the world the musings of Sig:Ar:Tyr – Godsaga

1. Nights All Nine
2. Midwinter Sacrifice
3. Blood Of The North [mp3]
4. Black Sun’s Bane
5. Eternal Return [mp3]
6. Sleep Of The Sword
7. Sonatorrek
8. Godsaga
9. Distant Northern Shore


While this is not a “new” album or a rising sensation in the world of atmospheric epic black metal, they have a very solid release which came out in 2010 simply called Godsaga. For those of you who enjoy the Pagan/Norse coating in your atmospheric black metal, this is certainly for you.  I find it similar in flavor and texture as Moonsorrow,Hellsaw or Drudkh.

For a dark and hateful January I find nothing more appealing than a big cup of northern darkness.

Purchase Album – [Amazon]
Band Page – [http://www.sigartyr.com]
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